I read once, a man will soon associate a city with a girl. Every town is a place a man met a lady that would forever be associated to that place. That was essentially true most days for me, but, what I found profoundly remarkable is how this other truth is equally mind boggling. How very much so, we end up loving a particular song for its essence of remembrance to a particular being. Love is a strong word, so let me add flesh to that, a song signifies a moment, a memory, a sour story, a bitter betrayal, an anguished anxious love story that never was, it resounds a pain wished to have been forgotten and it takes you all the way back to that instance (but, a song has other meanings too).
Such scenarios set a center stage in your mind, as the lyrics eat away on it, forcing you to recalibrate the scenery of how it all went down. To me that song I almost hated as equally as I loved the magnitude of its impulse within my heart, was by Labrinth featuring Emeli Sande [Beneath your beautiful]. It implies that I once cared for a young beautiful woman who was more engrossed in a world I couldn’t be a part of.
But, that was okay too. I knew from the first day I set my eyes on her. There was something about her. Though I knew how it would end, I would be on the opposite trajectory of my impulses and wishes. She was beautiful alright, but, the defense mechanisms she set in place left the suitors scouring for the hills. I knew I would never be with her, but, as I said, that was okay too. No love was lost in war. Intuitive calculation of risk and reward deemed this chance null.
I used to wonder how it would have been if we were on the same level with her. How it would have been an awesome exchange of solace. Would she have been an equal intelligent opposite? Posing a challenge and wonder of affairs of the mind and heart… Would we not have broken up in the long run? As that is the inevitable constant of most Millennial’s relationships in this day and era.
As the song says, she did build her walls so high no one could climb in. I yearned once of how the view would have been beyond the wall. I never found out. Yes, another one of those “what if”! I hate “what if” cases. I do.