Here’s the spoken word piece Juno spoke of, written on 6.Feb.2014
I struggle with my pain; to the narcissists of the world I seem depressed- with the Load of the World on my shoulders. The truth is I’m good, stress free, all released with its pressures that come intertwined to bondage of a sinful mess. Now the past plays with my head: I’m reminded of the wrongs that I’ve said and done. Failure tries to knock me down again; that Devil- The Beast, Serpent & King of Helluva won’t let me forget.
He keeps sending figments condemning me of the choices I made a lifetime ago. As though to test the foundation that I stand on. On the rock of ages!
I’m Forgiven- A bird set free from the cage of promiscuity. A beautiful being isolated from the dungeon of unsatisfactory addictions life offered!
Lived for self:- chasing shadows of empty promises- all void. As the asteroids in space. Orbiting around chances of fake “highness”. Illusions kept alive to die in present just to have a little bit more of mere shear fun.
You see that’s the life I thought would bring meaning and purpose to a poor soul. But, it was null while it left me screwed over. So many pieces of my character scattered all over the visage of so called society. That was ready to eat me alive; judge my actions; persecute & stone my body to death, for my indulgence with the pleasures of these broken cistern earth had to gift.
Broken was my life. Origins of these sorrows I dare to think arose because I missed the one thing that I ought to have had in my life. The Son, Lord Of Lords & King of Kings, Sovereign Jesus! The one entity manifested to this fallen glamour of a Universe descended from his Throne to Die for my Iniquity & pardon all my done sins.
I don’t have to carry the weight of who I’ve been. I shout at the top of my lungs, the Merciful Lord has Forgiven me. So now, I flee from all the negative energy that The Devil wants me to absorb- endothermic. In spite of the attempts, the Light that I reflect from the Sun, Son of God- is so powerful I can’t let it hide; Exothermic! I will burst with embers of His glory & praise the one who set me free.
I stand tall among my peers with no apologies of the life I live now, it’s meaningful than the shallow life I lived before.
I stand tallest when I’m down of my knees, my patella in a renounced relationship with the floor, so firm beneath.
My strength is drawn there on my knees alongside deep prayers and meditations; fasting as days go by fast as I await my Jesus to come and take us home. On that day;
I will stand tall with pride as the Lord lays the golden crown on my head for a job well done. A race well won. I will claim my prize with a smile hitting all the corners of my face.
As He paves way to eternal rest of all turmoil; I can only imagine how light that would weigh within.
A masterpiece I was made in the Creators own likeliness & until anyone fears that sole aspect. Life will be a hollow tunnel one travels in. So this is my testimony that the Lord is truth in His Holy Word: “For God so Loved the World that he gave His only Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.”
When I don’t feel like I belong anywhere
When I don’t measure a lot in this life,
I know I’m a treasure In the eyes of Christ.
His eyes shine with glory for I returned to my Maker.
His arms open & opulent with love.
On His feet & Hands certainty curves
The holes drilled & channeled
He was crushed, bruised, hurt, drained dry
For my retched life, so that my sins would
Be white as snow, not stained red
So when I’m alone & people think I suffer from depression, the truth is I marvel with my Lord for being my Hero. He never wore any suits as Ironman nor Captain America, nor did he swell up when tasked with such a deity job to die on that cross like Hulk puffs up with anger. He humbled himself and clung to that cross as though without it he couldn’t have ever existed.
Satan tries to wage war to crumble down my heart’s wall of faith, but he is doomed to fail. For my Lord fights my battles for me. The battle of Armageddon will ensue when The Prince of darkness tries to lay blemish to my life- the lamb of God was slew blameless as He was, to offer me protection!
He shields me from the voracious attacks of the Serpent with his allies and Comrades. No weapon forged against me shall prosper, nor any venom numb me, nor any fang sting my body. For it is finished on Calvary when he died. Later resurrected and now sits at the right hand of God. He defeated Satan, so the Beast has no hold on me anymore.
I sleekly slide from his grasp
From that simple yet vital way
It way the path to all humanity
To spend eternity in paradise.
So that I could return home; as the prodigal son; I never hesitated to rush back to my Father. God I know that you are good, so I now put my life In your Mighty hands. I’m yours alone, So now I raise my hands to you alone, I bow to your Majesty. I won’t run from the splendor that comes from being close thine throne.
I will wait for you Lord; on my knees. I heed your word to call onto you when certain days are too dark and unfathomable to comprehend & bare. When I was left broken & bare, I called to you to hear my orisons. You didn’t fail me, so with outstretched hands I sung melodies for the day I was set free from the shackles of slavery. A slave to self & the world.